Chapter 35: His Brain Still Has Some Issues

Two carriages departed from the Huaxi Villa. Chen Xiaofu shared one with An Xiaowei, though it was Alai, not Old Huang, who held the reins.

Alai had plenty of complaints about this: "I am a Taoist priest, not a coachman! I specialize in killing people and finding spots with good feng shui to bury them, but driving a carriage? I’m truly not cut out for it."

Old Huang said nothing, simply handing him a wine gourd. Alai took it, caught the scent, and immediately hung it at his waist before taking the whip from Old Huang’s hand.

"Driving a carriage shouldn't be that hard, right?"

Heaven help him, Alai had never actually driven a carriage before. The Wuji Temple was located on Mount Qingyun, where the paths were rugged and uneven—let alone a carriage, even a horse would find it perilous. Though he occasionally wandered the pugilistic world, that was strictly on foot. Thus, he was a thoroughly unqualified driver.

Inside the carriage, Chen Xiaofu and An Xiaowei swayed from side to side, jolting every now and then. Chen Xiaofu held An Xiaowei tightly. As for An Xiaowei... she suspected that the Taoist named Alai was doing it on purpose.

Once the carriage passed the straight path through the fields, Alai seemed to have mastered the technique. Wielding the whip, he steered the horses toward Willow Lane. He turned a bit too sharply, and An Xiaowei, caught off guard, tumbled right into Chen Xiaofu’s arms. Chen Xiaofu braced his feet against the side of the cabin to steady himself, feeling a surge of warmth and softness in his arms. An Xiaowei sat up, her face turning crimson.

From outside, the driver’s voice drifted in: "Driving is still much simpler than serving my master."

As the carriage entered Willow Lane, Alai seemed to have truly grown accustomed to the rhythm, keeping the ride steady—perhaps because he was moving slowly. The streets were far more crowded than usual, and the clamor of voices reached them inside the carriage:

"Are you headed to the Lin'an Academy?"

"Of course! I want to see how that young master from Huaxi Villa challenges those scholars."

"I heard it costs ten taels of silver just to get in!"

"Ten taels? What is that to you, Butcher Zhang? Just kill two more pigs and sell the meat for a couple of days, and you'll have earned it back. But to see a bastard son challenge the scholars of Lin'an Academy... that’s something you might not see once in a thousand years!"

"Master Li has a point. Consider the ten taels the price of a show."

"...Ten taels could hire an entire performance troupe!"

"Are you stupid? Can a common troupe compare to this?"

"You can hire a troupe whenever you like, but to watch Young Master Chen attempt to compose poetry and prose... you’ll likely only see that once in your lifetime!"

An Xiaowei looked at Chen Xiaofu. Chen Xiaofu grinned.

Then, they heard someone else say: "Tell me, what right does he have to compete in poetry and literature with the academy students? I heard the twelve genius boys brought by that great scholar Xu from the Qi State are there too. Isn't he just asking to be humiliated?"

"Who knows? It’s precisely because no one knows where he gets such nerve that it’s worth spending ten taels to go and see!"

"Makes sense. Well then... let's go together!"

All along the way, the voices were much the same. It seemed the Lin'an Academy was truly desperate for money. Lin'an City was vast, and the headmaster, Old Master Li, had likely dispatched all three thousand students of the academy. He seemed terrified of missing a single alleyway. The students must have risen before dawn to reach every street and corner.

Presumably, the students were delighted by this. They wanted as many people as possible to see him make a fool of himself. They wanted him to lose to them under the witness of everyone in Lin'an, proving once and for all that he was nothing more than an illiterate... idiot.

Alai clearly had no idea what was going on. Before leaving Wuji Temple, he had been roasting a wild chicken. His master said, "It is time for you to descend the mountain."

Alai asked, "Where to?"

"To the Huaxi Villa outside Lin'an City."

"What for?"

"To protect Young Master Chen Xiaofu."

"That... that fool?"

His master had immediately struck him on the head with a prayer bowl mallet. That time, his master had been deadly serious: "Remember, he is no fool! He is your... master!"

Alai didn't understand how that fellow had become his master. He had seen the old lady at Huaxi Villa and heard the rumors about Chen Xiaofu. Forced by his master’s stern authority, he had descended the mountain and taken a long detour to reach the villa. When he met Chen Xiaofu last night, he didn't seem like a fool. Alai had been fast asleep and hadn't heard the conversation between Chen Xiaofu, Xu Zizhou, and Old Master Jiang in the pavilion.

Now, as the carriage rolled through the streets, he heard nothing but talk about his master. Alai was baffled. He thought, *You were perfectly fine staying in the villa—wouldn’t it be better if we just stayed put? With that massive estate and the thousands of acres of fertile land outside, Chen Xiaofu could live a perfectly comfortable life just lying around forever! Why on earth are you running off to challenge the students of Lin'an Academy? Is this what happens when you’re too well-fed and bored?*

Even if he had to challenge them, wouldn't a martial duel be better than a literary one? He had watched Chen Xiaofu exercise all morning. To a pugilistic master like himself, such training was hardly worth mentioning, but he felt his master could easily beat those weak, bookish scholars in a physical fight—provided they came at him one by one.

As for a literary duel... even the usually stern Alai couldn't help but smile. He truly believed his master’s brain was malfunctioning. He decided that once they returned, he would have to check his pulse and brew some medicinal herbs for him to drink.

With these thoughts, the carriage turned into Bluefish Lane. Usually, this alley was quiet, but today it was the opposite: there were quite a few people here! Most of them were young women—and dressed in their finest, most gaudy attire.

Alai was familiar with this place. He had visited Lin'an often; it wasn't far, and since he and his master were too lazy to farm—they didn't even grow vegetables—they had to come to the city to buy daily necessities. Alai had not only been to Bluefish Lane, but he had also visited Moon-Gazing Island and climbed the Moon-Appreciation Tower. Of course, he never went inside because the admission fee was too expensive! It was far costlier than the ten taels this master was charging for his show. It went to show that there were more people interested in women than in poetry.

He had listened to the girls singing from the roof of the Moon-Appreciation Tower and even pried up roof tiles to watch them... panting. When he returned to the temple and asked his master about it, his master warned him not to go again. Alai asked why, noting how beautiful it was. His master replied that watching too much would damage his health and ruin his "virginity cultivation."

From then on, Alai never went again. Because his master told him he was the only disciple in all these years at Wuji Temple to have successfully mastered that technique! He never realized that he was also the only disciple the Wuji Temple had had in all those years.

Chen Xiaofu, inside the carriage, hadn't expected even the girls from the brothels to be stirred up. He lifted the corner of the curtain and saw not only the brightly dressed girls in Bluefish Lane, but as the carriage emerged, he also spotted several ornate pleasure boats gliding in from West Lake!

In that case, had the girls from Moon-Gazing Island arrived as well? It seemed his charm was truly quite potent!