Chapter Sixty-Five: Two Young Boys

"Pfft!"

Upon hearing Chojirou recount what had transpired yesterday at the Yasuda residence, Kazuharu Anba could no longer contain his astonishment. With a sudden burst, he sprayed the tea in his mouth all over Chojirou's face.

"Let me give you a word of advice—it would be best not to seek out Miss Unohana for the time being."

"I already knew about that. You don't need to say more..." Chojirou sighed weakly, feeling as useless as ever. Even after living twice, he hadn't improved a bit.

"Vice-captain Sasakibe!"

"Hmm? What is it?"

Just as he was wallowing in regret, a subordinate's voice came from outside the door.

"Forgive the intrusion." The shinigami outside slid open the door, a hint of hesitation on his face. "Um, someone has come to see Head Captain Yamamoto."

"What?"

Someone seeking the master of the Eighth Character Hall?

Chojirou was momentarily stunned. There shouldn't have been any appointments today. Precisely because of that, Shigekuni Yamamoto had been able to leisurely accompany Honsei Yasuda on a stroll. Who could this sudden visitor be?

"My, my, it seems something has come up. I won't trouble you further, Sasakibe." Kazuharu Anba stood up and waved his hand. "Until next time, then."

"Ah... what a bother..."

...

"I'll relay this matter to the master of the Eighth Character Hall. You two may take your leave for now."

Chojirou had met the two guests and understood the situation. With his knowledge of the plot, he could not suppress the smile creeping onto his lips—a sight that sent chills down his guests' spines.

Is this guy alright?

Still, since he was the host and had tactfully issued a dismissal, the two could only bow and obediently take their leave.

"Now things will be much simpler."

Leaving the task of seeing the guests out to his subordinates, Chojirou turned around and lowered his gaze slightly. "The reason I had you two stay behind isn't for any other purpose, you brats."

Standing before him were two boys, appearing to be no more than seven or eight years old.

One had slightly wavy hair and a petulant pout; the other, with a head of white hair, wore a humble smile.

"First, let's hear your names."

"Ukitake... Jushiro."

"Kyoraku... Shunsui."

"My, my?" Upon hearing the boys introduce themselves, Chojirou furrowed his brow.

"Seems a certain strange little brat hasn't told the truth."

Chojirou rolled the letter in his hand into a tube and tapped it on the curly-haired boy's head, prompting an expression of displeasure.

"Of all things, why lie about your name?"

"I didn't lie! Kyoraku Shunsui is correct!"

Young Kyoraku slapped away the letter and retorted indignantly.

"Kyoraku Jiro Sogyo Sa Shunsui—that's your full name, isn't it?"

"Annoying! How am I supposed to flirt with girls in the future with such a long name?"

...

To be entertaining such wicked thoughts at such a young age—what kind of upbringing is the Kyoraku family giving their children?

"Then just go by Kyoraku Jiro. It even matches your friend's name rather well..."

"Who'd want to be called such a lame name?!"

Wow, what a stirring declaration. Ten no Miya, your name has just been thoroughly disdained.

"Anyway—we've come to see Shigekuni Yamamoto! You, stop—"

"Smack."

"Uh?"

Chojirou fixed the boy with a stern gaze, grabbing young Kyoraku's head with one hand and speaking coldly, "If you want to see the master of the Eighth Character Hall, you'll have to get past me first. Without the resolve to step over my dead body, you won't see him."

"Do you understand, brat?"

"Y-yes... Yes..."

Good. It seems my intimidation is working, Chojirou thought, inwardly delighted.

Now, let us begin—the unparalleled, never-seen-before plan for raising the perfect, devious, and eccentric uncle!

Step one—

"Hey, brats, have you ever peeped at the women's hot springs?"

...

...

Damn, was that too provocative a question? Neither of the boys reacted at all.

"Old man, that's kid stuff. Aren't you a bit outdated?" Young Kyoraku curled his lip in disdain.

...

Uwahhh...

Something I'd never dared try in hundreds of years, and here I am being despised by a mere child!

Chojirou was on the verge of tears.

"Um... are you alright?" Young Kyoraku patted Chojirou on the shoulder with concern.

"Don't mind me... Just let me die here, scorned by precocious little brats..."

"What do we do, Ukitake... I think this guy's broken."

"That's a bit rude, Kyoraku..."

"If that's how it is... if I'm to be looked down on like this..."

Driven to the edge, Chojirou dug his hands into the floor, scratching a few shallow grooves.

"Then I'll risk my life to peep at the women's hot springs!"

"That's not the point at all!!"