Chapter 12

With Xue Mi by her side, Yu Li’s time passed even more quickly. Sometimes, she could spend an entire day just building a cat climbing frame for the little creature.

Xue Mi was more aloof and fastidious than the average cat, not particularly affectionate toward people. However, after Yu Li prepared several meals for it enriched with fish, it finally warmed up to her. Sometimes, it would play with her, allowing Yu Li to rub its belly while it pretended to bite her fingers. Yu Li found these interactions delightful, though Jingyu, watching from the side, was always on edge, terrified that her mistress might be scratched or bitten.

Xue Mi, however, did not like Xie Yao. Every time he arrived, the cat would refuse to even enter the main room; the moment it saw him cross the threshold of the courtyard, it would vanish.

On one occasion, it was curled up sleeping on Yu Li’s lap. It was a rare moment of closeness, and Yu Li, unwilling to disturb it, let it sleep until Xie Yao, whom she had failed to meet at the gate, walked into the courtyard. Before Yu Li could react, the cat woke up, leapt from her knees in a flash, darted around the perimeter of the wall, and disappeared.

Yu Li occasionally failed to meet Xie Yao, and though he never complained, she felt embarrassed. Her current life was everything she had dreamed of: a large house, a cat, sleeping until she naturally woke up, and delicious food every day. She felt grateful to Xie Yao and wanted to do something for him, but he insisted she shouldn't tire herself out cooking, so she only did so occasionally. She knew what he wanted from her. He had already given her so much; she could not remain stingy forever.

Yu Li thought that she had grown accustomed to his presence and could take a step further—perhaps from holding hands to embracing. She was still incredibly shy, but she reasoned that if she did this, Xie Yao would not feel any aversion or discomfort. He would be happy, perhaps even smiling with an unprecedented tenderness. In that case, she would have made a contribution to him, rather than just enjoying this heavenly life for free.

After pondering some subtle ways to initiate this, Yu Li eventually decided to ask Xie Yao to teach her how to write. As a modern person, she could read traditional characters when they formed sentences, but she was not familiar with individual characters; she could recognize many but knew how to write very few. Since she was the daughter of an umbrella maker, it was not unusual for her to be illiterate. When she proposed learning to write to Jingyu, the maid immediately arranged for the "Four Treasures of the Study," all of the finest quality. She also prepared many primer books for children and suggested hiring two female tutors to teach her the next day.

But Yu Li’s intent was not really about the writing. She told Jingyu not to go to the trouble, lying that she had some basics and would prefer to study on her own. Jingyu did not insist further. Yu Li picked up a brush and wrote a few characters. She soon realized that there was a massive gap between using a brush and a pen; her handwriting was atrocious. She folded the paper with her name on it and put it away, deciding to start from the most basic strokes.

Xiyun happened to walk by and watched for a while.
Yu Li asked, "How is it?"
Xiyun replied, "You really should let Jingyu hire a tutor. It’s free of charge, why not use it?"
Yu Li fell silent.

She stopped writing, and when evening finally arrived, Xie Yao appeared. Because she had an objective in mind, Yu Li paid close attention to him today, observing him with extra care. It was nearly midsummer, and he was dressed lightly in a thin, jade-colored robe patterned with pale pink clouds. It was a gentle, romantic color scheme that did not quite match his temperament, yet it softened his cold, somber air. His brows and eyes were always deep, his nose high and straight, and his lips a soft red. Yu Li still marveled at how, despite having been disfigured, his skin had recovered so well. It was delicate and smooth, possessing a translucent, lustrous texture like honey under the lamplight, appearing as though it might flow in the heat of summer.

"What is it?"

Yu Li had been staring at him so intently that she was caught off guard when his red lips parted to speak to her. Her face flushed hot, and she took a bite of food to mask her embarrassment. Pretending to be nonchalant, she said, "I have been learning to write recently, but I cannot seem to grasp the method. Could my husband offer me some guidance?"

Yu Li rarely made requests of him. She knew he would agree to some, but she did not want to owe him too much. As for other requests, she knew he would never agree, so she was always extremely careful with what she asked of him, prepared to be refused. Xie Yao looked at her for a moment. He knew she had been watching him; she had been caught and her ears were turning red. He knew what she did every day and was aware she wanted to learn to write but had refused the tutors. He remained oblivious to her hidden, circuitous little thoughts, but he had no reason to refuse such a request.

Xie Yao agreed, and Yu Li smiled.

After dinner, they went to the study. It was much fuller than when she had first arrived; besides the desk items, there was an extra bookshelf filled with books. Xie Yao glanced over them casually but did not pick any up. Yu Li arranged the ink, paper, and brush, wrote a few strokes, and invited Xie Yao to look.

Xie Yao walked to her side. On the paper were a few scattered, shaky strokes—clearly the work of a beginner, not even as good as a five-year-old child's. Xie Yao’s expression remained indifferent. He said nothing, took the brush from her, and with a steady wrist, wrote a few strokes. "Just trace these for practice."

Yu Li looked at the strokes he wrote. As a native of this world, he made it look effortless, even when writing casually. By comparison, her work looked like chicken scratch. In such a situation, asking him to teach her further seemed completely unearned. Of course, he was a man of a thousand affairs; how could he have the time to teach her stroke by stroke?

Yu Li felt vexed that her excuse had been so clumsy. Seeing the vast disparity in their skill, it was a miracle he didn't look down on her; there was hardly any room left to cultivate an intimate atmosphere. Yu Li remained silent for a moment. Xie Yao noticed, set down the brush, and took her wrist.

"Do you want me to teach you?"

Yu Li paused and looked up at him. "May I?"

Xie Yao replied, "It is exactly what I desire."

Yu Li’s heart gave a sudden leap. *She finally has me in her eyes,* Xie Yao thought, a faint curve appearing on his lips. He could guide her hand and stand very close to her. That was what he wanted, and that was what he did. Since she had requested it, she naturally would not resist. It didn't matter how the writing turned out; what mattered was this very moment. Even if she never learned well, it didn't matter—he didn't need her to be skilled at anything.

Xie Yao’s chest lightly brushed against Yu Li’s back. In truth, it was no different from an embrace, but Yu Li wanted to be the one to hug him. As Xie Yao let go of her hand to reach for another piece of paper and turned slightly, Yu Li gathered all her courage and quickly threw her arms around his waist. He looked tall, but his waist was slender and thin; her arms fit perfectly, and she could hook her wrists together. To show that this was not an accident but a deliberate embrace, she lingered for a moment before letting go.

She wanted to thank him again, but before the word "thank" could leave her lips, Xie Yao turned around. Her arms loosened, but the person before her moved closer, and he firmly pressed her back into his arms. Yu Li felt a bit unnatural, but she did not push him away. Xie Yao’s chest was heaving; he seemed quite agitated. Yu Li wanted to step back, but the strength of his arms only increased.

Yu Li looked up, the light dimmed, and Xie Yao’s face pressed down. Her lips felt hot as they were enveloped by his soft, warm mouth and tongue.

Yu Li’s mind went blank. The scent she was accustomed to became intensely overwhelming, filling her lungs. Her upper body felt tightly bound, unable to move. The sensation on her lips gradually deepened, and the sound of breathing in her ears became as loud as a drum—she could not tell if it was hers or Xie Yao’s. Yu Li wanted to push him away, but her body was stiff and unresponsive.

Xie Yao grew more intense, moving from a light kiss to taking possession of her lips and tongue. It was as if he were possessed, biting and sucking deeply, as if he wanted to devour her. Yu Li finally felt a hint of fear and pushed him hard. It did not shake his embrace in the slightest, but it did make him stop his predatory kissing.

Xie Yao parted their lips. He saw Yu Li’s lips were bright red, her eyes filled with unshed tears, and her body trembling. Xie Yao frowned. "What’s wrong?" he asked, his eyes already turning cold.

Yu Li was terrified. She wanted him to let her go, but she didn't dare say it. In the end, Xie Yao compromised and released her. Yu Li stepped back two paces, pressing a hand to her chest and breathing rapidly. Seeing her like this, Xie Yao’s brow remained furrowed. Yu Li rarely saw him frown; she had only occasionally seen his brows twitch slightly. Seeing him like this now, she feared he was consumed by rage. She didn't know what to do to appease his anger; she was still too shaken and panicked to function.

Xie Yao calmed down before she did. He did not approach her again, but his expression did not warm up either. He told her to get some rest and turned to leave. Yu Li felt it was wrong to let him go like this, but at the same time, she felt relieved that he hadn't done anything worse. Her head was spinning, her lips and tongue still tingling, and in the end, she did not chase after him.

Xiyun bumped into Xie Yao outside and could see that his expression was very gloomy. She hurried into the study, pretending nothing had happened. Seeing Yu Li looking so distraught, she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start. If Master Xie were to reveal his violent and cruel side to Yu Li, any consolation would seem pale. If she were to pierce the facade of calm, Yu Li would be terrified, and Xiyun would be even more so; the two of them would likely only end up hugging each other and crying. It was better to leave it as it was—to pretend they knew nothing and perhaps offer each other some strength.

But Xiyun could not help worrying about Yu Li. She poured her some tea and brought Xue Mi over, but Yu Li only offered a forced smile. Yu Li was in no mood to tease the cat. She felt restless all night, and even when she went to bed, she kept replaying the sudden, forceful kiss. She had only hugged him once; how could that have made him lose control like that? Could it be that he had been suppressing his true nature all along, and in reality, had long wanted to devour her completely?

It was no wonder Yu Li was so afraid. The original novel’s depiction of the bed scenes between the protagonist and Song Yi was far too brutal and bloody. Yu Li had tried her best to prevent her and Xie Yao from following the original plot, but at that moment, she realized with a jolt that the plot might be unavoidable, for a man’s true nature is hard to change.

Xie Yao’s nature was extraordinary. He only appeared to be a normal person, but he possessed a desire for control that exceeded that of ordinary men. If he wanted something—even a person—he would not care for that person’s feelings; he would simply take it. Thus, although he claimed it was to repay a kindness, he had never asked whether she was willing to marry him; he merely gave her everything he deemed best, and she was expected to be his wife as a matter of course.

There was no moon that night, and the room was pitch black. Darkness amplified one's emotions and fears. Yu Li tossed and turned, only drifting into a fitful sleep in the middle of the night. In her dream, she seemed to have become the original heroine, Song Yi.

She learned that the death of Mei Ziyu was Xie Yao’s doing