Chapter 13

Yu Li breathed heavily, her heart rate finally steadying after a long while.

The events of her dream felt as if they had truly occurred. Only after detaching herself from the persona of Song Yi did she realize that Xie Yao’s expression and actions in reality were far more terrifying than in her nightmare. Although it was a sexual encounter, it was steeped in blood and devoid of any pleasure; it was more like a cruel execution inflicted upon them both.

After a long time, the phantom pain in her lips, tongue, and chest finally dissipated, though a lingering, inexplicable discomfort remained elsewhere. Experiencing the descriptions from the original novel firsthand was far more grueling than she had imagined.

Dawn began to break, and hearing the familiar chirping of birds helped Yu Li settle down. She wanted to go back to sleep, but she found herself unable to drift off again. She decided to get up and check on Xuemi.

Now, there was a cat in this small courtyard, and the study was filled with books, brushes, and ink. Everything was different from the original novel; she had no need to frighten herself. Yu Li decided to treat what happened last night as an ordinary occurrence. She would prepare some delicious food for Xie Yao today, welcome him warmly when he arrived, and explain away last night’s unpleasantness. She would tell him not to take it to heart—that she was simply unaccustomed to his sudden intimacy.

Yet, she wondered, what if he didn't accept her apology and tried to kiss her again? Perhaps he would stare at her and say, in an irresistible tone, "You must get used to kissing me."

Yu Li’s scalp tingled, and her hand slipped, nearly cutting her finger with the kitchen knife. She calmed herself for a moment, cast the thought from her mind, and focused on preparing his meal.

By evening, Yu Li went to greet Xie Yao as usual, harboring a nervousness that had not surfaced for a long time. Xie Yao arrived as always, his expression unsmiling and inscrutable. Yu Li had already learned that this meant he was in a bad mood.

She reached out to take his hand, but he stopped and looked behind her. "Walk in front."

Yu Li’s smile stiffened, and she obeyed, turning to lead the way toward Mingyue Residence. She was terrified that her daytime fears would come true. If Xie Yao really said that, would she have to take the initiative to kiss him? She couldn't do it.

Even before it happened, Yu Li was already resisting. This manifested as a constant sense of constraint, causing her to shy away from Xie Yao at every turn. Although she had cooked the meal herself, she didn't speak to him, didn't offer any introduction, and ended up eating very little.

Xie Yao showed no sign of joy or anger. He finished his meal in a measured, orderly fashion. Once the maid had cleared the table and they had finished their tea, everyone withdrew, and even the cat was gone. Only then did he speak.

"I was too abrupt yesterday," Xie Yao said.

Yu Li was stunned. Xie Yao’s eyes were deep, devoid of any real apology. It was a farce—kissing his own wife was only natural; for him to apologize was the real absurdity. But Yu Li had been frightened, and he saw no other way.

Yu Li’s surprise was no less than it had been the night before; it was as if his sudden kiss had been shocking, and his apology was equally so. Was he really such an irredeemable villain? If so, then he would show her just how wicked he could be.

"I want you too much," Xie Yao said, observing her expression. She was clearly even more surprised by his bluntness.

Xie Yao continued, "We have been married for three months, yet we have not consummated our marriage. This is not in accordance with propriety. When you held me last night, I thought you had accepted me."

Yu Li hurriedly said, "That is not what I meant."

"Then you do not want to consummate our marriage with me?"

"..."

"Well?"

"..." It’s not that I don’t want to."

"Then that means you do." Xie Yao stared at her. She bit her lip and remained silent, still trying to escape.

"Whether you want to or not, you only have one month," Xie Yao said, his expression cold and heavy.

Yu Li frowned, clearly reluctant.

Xie Yao stated firmly, "We are husband and wife. We have bowed to heaven and earth."

Yu Li fell silent for a long while, as if she were undergoing an important psychological adjustment.

***

Xie Yao did not want to indulge her, but she remained silent for so long that he grew uncertain. If she refused, or if she claimed she never wanted to marry him and turned against him, what would he do? He knew full well she did not love him.

Xie Yao thought of some dark possibilities, his expression deepening like a bottomless abyss, trapping Yu Li within his gaze.

Finally, Yu Li looked at him and said, "Mm."

It was only a vague, uncertain "mm." Xie Yao was still unsatisfied. He sat beside her, reached out to grip her wrist, and looked deep into her eyes. Yu Li felt an unprecedented sense of oppression, as if she would be crushed and unable to breathe the moment she refused.

"Fine," Yu Li said, her face taut, but she had ultimately yielded to his wishes. She had agreed to consummate the marriage within a month.

She had never broken a promise to Xie Yao; her credibility with him was high. Xie Yao felt a preemptive joy and gave her a light hug before letting go. He feared that if he held her, he wouldn't be able to stop—just like last night. He had thought she had finally taken a precious half-step forward, so he had moved to close the remaining distance between them. The more he kissed her, the more he lost control, nearly crossing the line, only to realize she had simply wanted to hold him.

He had been somewhat angry, but he had calmed down quickly. He had misinterpreted her intent and scared her. By surrendering the initiative, he had already compromised greatly; he did not want to let her drag this out indefinitely, so he had no choice but to force her hand.

Compared to when they first reunited, she was much closer to him now, but he wanted her heart and eyes to be filled only with him, to never want to leave him. Although she was obedient and submissive, he knew all too well that she was still far, very far from the state he desired.

After Xie Yao left, Yu Li realized, belatedly, that she had taken on such a massive task again. Xie Yao’s behavior just now had truly exceeded her expectations. He had apologized to her—though there was little sincerity in it—and seeing her fear, he hadn't forced her, instead giving her a month’s grace.

Yu Li reflected that Xie Yao gave her a strange feeling; whenever she let her guard down just a little, he would seize the opportunity to encroach upon her space, leaving her nowhere to hide. This mix of soft and hard tactics made her uneasy. Yet, the lingering chill of last night’s nightmare remained, and today’s Xie Yao, though highly controlling, at least hadn't reached the point of drugging her.

The image of intertwined bodies from her dream flashed through her mind, and Yu Li couldn't help but shiver. Rather than reaching that point, it was better to seek a gentler first time on her own terms.

Yu Li thought a great deal. When she woke from a nap, she felt the weather growing hot, which made her irritable and weary. She decided to treat herself first. Xie Yao was not easy to fool, nor was he easy to please; to make him satisfied, she first had to make herself happy.

The bedroom had already been fitted with a cool jade mat, and ice had been delivered today. The ice was clear and pure, making one drool just looking at it. Before Yu Li even went to the kitchen, Uncle Hu had made her *sushan* (a chilled dairy dessert)—cool, fragrant, and sweet.

Yu Li didn't feel satisfied enough, so she brewed a pot of milk tea herself, chilled it, and shared it with the maids in the manor. Girls loved cool, fragrant, and sweet things; although they were usually respectful and distant toward Yu Li, the treats made them forget themselves. They smiled at her and couldn't help but draw closer, growing intimate with her.

Yu Li felt much more relaxed; girls were much easier to please than Xie Yao. She also made some treats for Xuemi, who circled her and rolled over to have its belly rubbed. Throughout the day, although busy and a little tired, Yu Li felt satisfied and as if she were full of energy again, ready to face Xie Yao with composure.

Thinking of how Xie Yao didn't like sweets, Yu Li made him a slightly tart lemon-mint water with a few ice cubes. In the sweltering summer, he would surely like it.

In the evening, Xie Yao arrived and, as expected, enjoyed the lemon water she made. However, after finishing it, he simply stared at her, as if he wanted more. Yu Li had nothing else prepared, so she took his hand, intending to go for a walk, but she couldn't budge him. Instead, she was pulled into his arms.

Yu Li was slightly startled, but she didn't push him away; she reached up and hugged him. Xie Yao didn't miss her unnatural expression, but he said nothing. In her heart, she had already accepted that she would consummate the marriage with him as soon as possible, so no matter what he did, she didn't dare resist.

Yu Li feared he would kiss her fiercely again, so she subconsciously pursed her lips. Xie Yao curled his lips into a smile. When he let her go, he saw that her pursed lips were even rosier, as if he had already kissed them.

A dark light flashed in Xie Yao's eyes as he released her and took a half-step back. "Business matters are settled. I can set aside a whole day to accompany you. Would you like to go out for a stroll?" Xie Yao asked.

"Where to?" He had said a whole day, so it couldn't be just within the manor, but Yu Li dared not imagine leaving it.

"The capital, or anywhere else you might want to go."

She could leave the manor? Xie Yao was serious. Yu Li’s heart raced with excitement. "Anywhere is fine; just as you arrange, husband."

Yu Li felt thrilled. Aside from being able to see the outside world, there was another reason: in the original novel, after Song Yi entered this manor, she had tried to escape many times and even told Xie Yao directly to set her free. Xie Yao had naturally kept her under strict watch, giving her no opportunity.

But now, Xie Yao had taken the initiative to offer to take her out, which meant she had broken away from the tone of the original novel. It wouldn't evolve into a cycle of mutual abuse where she fled and he chased.

***

Thinking of this, Xie Yao seemed much gentler. He was just a boyfriend with a slightly stronger sense of possessiveness and hadn't done anything truly excessive. In two days, they were going out on a date.

Yu Li was very happy and full of anticipation about going out. Seeing her so joyful, with eyes as bright as stars, Xie Yao suddenly felt he had wronged her too much. She must have wanted to leave the manor for a breath of fresh air long ago.

But she had never mentioned it. She had always been distant with him, never truly treating him as her husband. Since entering the manor, she hadn't asked for anything—except for that cat that took up so much of her time.

-

The day Yu Li went out was the Qixi Festival.

Although it was a day for lovers to reunite, Yu Li wanted to go shopping with Xiyun even more. In her modern life, she hadn't liked going out much; first, popular places were too crowded, making it feel like she was watching people rather than scenery. Second, she was short on cash, and shopping and traveling were expensive; she only went out with friends occasionally.

When shopping, she bought very little. She was accustomed to online shopping, which was cheaper and had a wider variety; she spent more time browsing shopping apps than she did walking through stores. Shopping was an opportunity for her to gather with her good friends. Buying tasty snacks to share and picking up cute little trinkets was the greatest joy of shopping for her.

Therefore, she naturally wanted to take Xiyun with her. Yu Li invited Xiyun, who readily agreed.

Shortly after dawn, the two of them got up to dress and groom themselves. Yu Li only knew how to do a simple bun and couldn't style elaborate hairdos, so Xiyun finally had a chance to show off her skills. She styled Yu Li’s hair into a beautiful, elegant bun, adorned with a translucent jade hairpin, pearl earrings, and light purple bead flowers.

It was hot, so Yu Li chose a sheer upper garment, layered with a light red half-sleeved top, and paired it with a light pink chest-high pleated skirt and a waist-tied tassel. She looked charming yet spirited. Xiyun couldn't take her eyes off her, and Yu Li was quite satisfied as well.

Xiyun also dressed up. Since coming to this manor, her attire had also been upgraded, and she now had access to fine silks and satins. Once they were ready, they looked like two young ladies from wealthy families, walking out together to shop.

Yu Li took out some of the silver she had brought as her dowry. The capital was vast, prosperous, and rich in goods; there must be many interesting little gadgets. Since she lived here and didn't have to worry about food, clothing, or shelter, she was going to splurge now that she was finally going out.

With all their careful preparation, Yu Li completely forgot about Xie Yao.

When he arrived, she was just discussing with Xiyun where to go in the capital and what to see first. Seeing him approach in the morning sun, Yu Li felt a bit dazed; she was used to seeing him arrive at sunset.

Xie Yao walked into the room, his gaze fixed on her. Just moments ago, Xiyun had been complimenting her, and Yu Li felt wonderful, but now, under Xie Yao’s direct gaze, she felt a bit uncomfortable.

It was getting late, and they should be leaving. Yu Li and Xiyun were both ready. Yu Li walked straight toward Xie Yao, with Xiyun trailing two steps behind.

When she reached Xie Yao’s side, he naturally took hold of her wrist and turned to walk out. Only after they had stepped out the door did Yu Li turn to look at Xiyun, who seemed perfectly normal, showing no signs of disappointment as she lowered her head and followed behind her and Xie Yao.

The joy she had felt moments ago vanished, and Yu Li found it extremely strange. It felt as if she were on a date with her boyfriend and had insisted on bringing her best friend, only to neglect her friend because she was with her boyfriend.

Yu Li didn't like this feeling, but Xie Yao’s grip on her wrist was firm, clearly not allowing her to pull away. She wouldn't be happy going out like this. She suddenly grabbed Xie Yao’s hand. "Husband, would it be possible to give Xiyun and the others the day off?"

Xie Yao didn't stop walking. "Whatever you say."

Yu Li turned to Xiyun and said, "Xiyun, you don't need to follow me today. You can go out on your own or rest at home."

Xiyun stopped, slightly stunned. Yu Li whispered, "Wait for me to bring back some delicious food."

Xiyun beamed, and Yu Li winked at her. As they passed the gate of Mingyue Residence, Jingyu also came to see them off, and Yu Li said to her as well, "You all have the day off today. Do whatever you like."