Chapter 15: Under the Eaves

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“Madam Yu, would you prefer to hear pleasant words, or the truth?”

Shi Shouxin bowed to Yang Huiyu and asked with a smile.

“Obviously, the truth. Everyone enjoys pleasant words, but they never change anything. I have spoken enough pleasant words in the Sima household over the years, and heard even more. Do you think I have not grown tired of them?”

Yang Huiyu’s tone turned serious.

Shi Shouxin naturally dared not regard the widow before him as merely a beautiful woman. She was a politician—indeed, an outstanding one.

She was someone capable of influencing Sima Zhao’s decisions.

“What Madam Yu wants is nothing more than for me to record Zhong Hui’s words and actions, investigate and review his military and administrative orders, and put everything on record, so that the evidence may be available if needed after the army returns,” Shi Shouxin said solemnly, the smile disappearing from his face.

“I knew I had not misjudged you.”

Yang Huiyu nodded with satisfaction. Had he spouted nonsense just now and failed to understand her meaning, she truly would have regretted recommending him.

Over the years, Yang Huiyu had seen countless talented men. Her standards were so high that ordinary people could hardly hope to meet them.

“So, what will you do?” Yang Huiyu asked at her leisure.

“Madam Yu, I will do nothing and say nothing, lest I give anyone a handle to use against me. I will simply remember everything, detail by detail, and after returning to Luoyang I will write it all down and deliver it to you.”

Shi Shouxin tapped his temple with his forefinger.

“Excellent! Wonderful! Simply wonderful!”

Yang Huiyu clapped three times, a radiant smile spreading across her face. In an instant, she seemed like a hundred flowers bursting into bloom, leaving Shi Shouxin staring blankly for several seconds.

Sima Shi’s second wife certainly had remarkable looks. That scoundrel had truly married above his station.

Shi Shouxin muttered inwardly.

“Very good. Once you enter the military camps in Guanzhong, you need only act as you have just described, and you will remain beyond defeat.

“Observe more, remember more, speak less, do less, and leave no evidence that others can use against you.

“When you return to Luoyang, I will recommend you for an even better post.”

Yang Huiyu reminded him in an even tone.

Shi Shouxin nodded gravely. He seemed to understand something.

Lowering his voice, he asked, “Over the years, Zhong Hui has carried out many dirty tasks for the Grand General and offended many people. If this campaign against Shu fails, his head will surely be hung from the city wall to appease the realm. But if he wins, I fear his end will still be…”

He let the words trail off.

A flicker of astonishment crossed Yang Huiyu’s face. She had never imagined that this promising young man she had recommended could see so far ahead.

It had taken her much probing and speculation to understand what Sima Zhao was thinking. She had not expected anyone else to perceive it in advance.

Yang Huiyu wanted Shi Shouxin to secretly record Zhong Hui’s unlawful actions precisely because she hoped to provide evidence for bringing him down after the campaign against Shu.

In an age like this, expecting others to give you opportunities to win fame and establish yourself was less useful than getting some extra sleep. Dreams contained everything. If someone allowed you to share a little of the broth while they ate the meat, that was already considered extraordinary kindness.

Shi Shouxin understood her meaning at once. Looking into her eyes, he nodded gravely.

Yang Huiyu had recommended him for the post of military inspector in Guanzhong for personal reasons. Yet the widow of Sima Shi had been frank enough to state her purpose plainly. That alone marked her as a woman of exceptional political integrity, and someone worth cooperating with for the long term.

“Thank you for recommending me, Madam Yu. I will surely repay your kindness generously in the future.”

Shi Shouxin hurriedly bowed.

“Repay me generously…?” Yang Huiyu sighed mournfully. “What use does a widow like me have for repayment?”

Her voice carried an unmistakable note of grievance.

Shi Shouxin’s heart began to pound. He had no idea how to comfort her. He had vaguely guessed at her meaning, but was not certain whether he was merely imagining things.

The more he thought about it, however, the more likely it seemed.

Yang Huiyu looked at his tall, straight figure, as though she had finally made up her mind. With a long sigh, she began to confide in him.

“For all these years, I have lived in constant fear, with no one to rely on. Even Uncle Zi—I am his elder sister, almost a mother to him. I have never relied on him; rather, I have sheltered him from the storms.

“Even if the Grand General forced me to remarry, or went so far as to drag me into his bed, I would have no way to resist. For the sake of ensuring that Sima Yan could succeed to the throne, the Grand General is absolutely capable of such a thing.

“Other than Uncle Zi, there is no one around me whom I can trust. The bitterness I have suffered cannot be spoken of to anyone else. Only I know how hard my life has been.

“Recommending you for an official post was nothing more than a small favor, hardly worth mentioning. But whether you will one day betray me and harm me because circumstances force you to do so remains impossible to say.

“Do not rush to proclaim your loyalty, and you need not defend yourself.

“Sima Yi once pointed to the Luo River and swore an oath. Look at what he became afterward. My late husband was a ruthless man from the Sima clan. Their sordid affairs are known to me better than anyone.

“I am ultimately only a weak woman. How am I to believe that you will not become another Sima Yi? We are neither kin nor friends—what could possibly make me trust you?

“I am uneasy, afraid that I may entrust myself to the wrong person. Sima Shi once spoke to me with a blade practically pressed against my throat, and he was my husband. What about you?

“Can I… rely on you?”

Yang Huiyu gazed at Shi Shouxin with utter sincerity, speaking in a gentle voice threaded with worry. Her eyes were filled with longing, while her face held the shy expectation of a young girl in love.

Shi Shouxin had seen that expression on Li Wan’s face before. Every time, they had ended up rolling into bed and making love.

Yang Huiyu’s words reminded him of his university days, when he had seen something online about an “older sister” buying an NVIDIA graphics card for her young boyfriend. No matter how obtuse he might be, he understood what it meant when a widow spoke such forbidden, intimate words to a man.

He looked at Yang Huiyu again. The beautiful woman had lowered her head like a girl experiencing her first love. Her eyes flickered, and both hands twisted nervously at her sleeves. She appeared embarrassed and tense, yet anxiously awaited his answer.

Shi Shouxin remembered the early days of his marriage, when Li Wan had whispered in his arms about how much she loved him and how she never wanted them to part.

He remembered how, even while giving birth, that foolish woman had called his name.

All the tender moments of their daily life kept appearing in his mind.

An unbearable struggle began to tear at his heart.

If he failed to rise in the world, his wife would sooner or later become Sima Yan’s plaything. Shi Shouxin now understood all too well the diseased mentality common among those powerful, privileged men.

The more they could not obtain something, the more crazed their desire became. They had to fulfill their obsession, or they could never find peace. The nature of the object itself was almost irrelevant.

It was obvious what Sima Yan desired. The only reason he had not acted was that Sima Zhao was suppressing him completely. Once Sima Zhao died, Sima Yan would likely be unable to restrain himself.

Even if he did not take Li Wan into his harem, he would have to enjoy her a few times before he was willing to let the matter go. Otherwise, how could he vent the resentment he had carried all these years? Judging Sima Yan by his own standards, Shi Shouxin believed that as his power expanded, he would never willingly stop. Indeed, before he even had the chance to act, others would likely offer themselves to him in pursuit of favor.

And if Shi Shouxin rejected Sima Shi’s widow, he would not only lose a powerful ally but offend her beyond reconciliation.

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Yang Hu, who was both his mentor and his friend, might also be influenced by Yang Huiyu and become estranged from him, perhaps even severing their friendship.

With enemies everywhere and not a single ally to be found, how could he ever advance? And if he did not advance, how could he protect his wife and family?

Was he really supposed to cling to something as meaningless as “fidelity”?

Between the alternatives, Shi Shouxin had already made his decision.

When one lived beneath another’s roof, one had to bow when necessary.

Seeing him lower his head and remain silent, Yang Huiyu’s expression gradually turned cold. Disappointment, even humiliation and anger, rose within her.

She was about to speak when she felt a trace of warmth in her hand.

Shi Shouxin had taken her delicate hand and was gazing intently at her.

“You—you’re… What are you doing? Quickly, let go!”

A flash of panic crossed Yang Huiyu’s face. She tried to pull her hand away, but her body had gone completely weak, devoid of strength.

“Madam Yu, if I am but a sapling a foot high, I will shield you from a foot of wind and rain.

“If I become a towering tree, I will shield you from a full measure of blazing sunlight.

“I, Shi Shouxin, swear this: if I ever betray you, may a thousand arrows pierce my heart and heaven’s thunder strike me down.”

He stared directly into her eyes, his voice ringing with force. He no longer intended to evade the matter. He would tear through the last barrier between them.

Yang Huiyu’s face immediately flushed crimson. She lowered her head without speaking, her thoughts in complete disorder. A wave of blissful delight ran through her body, leaving her tingling as though struck by lightning.

Suddenly, a large hand clasped her shoulder like an iron clamp.

It held her tightly, leaving her unable to resist or move, while a fierce masculine presence surged over her.

Yang Huiyu lifted her head and saw a pair of eyes filled with possessive intent.

“From now on, you are my woman. I will shield you from every storm.”

Shi Shouxin spoke with unquestionable certainty, his words ringing like iron.

At this, Yang Huiyu’s chest rose and fell violently. Breathing hard, she murmured in a trembling voice, “My lord Shi, I believe you. Do not swear such poisonous oaths anymore. I believe you…”

As though surrendering, she slowly closed her eyes. Her pale, lotus-root-like arms slid around Shi Shouxin’s neck.

Soon, her slightly parted red lips were captured in a kiss from which she could not escape. The lamplight on the table flickered, while Yang Huiyu lost herself in his domineering kiss, her mind utterly blank.

Her body went limp in his arms, responding fervently and allowing the young man to take liberties with her as he pleased.

Like a pool of spring water disturbed by ripples.

…

“Benefactor, you have reached home. I shall not go in.”

Night had fallen. The carriage came to a slow halt before the Shi residence on the outskirts of Luoyang. Xu Ying looked at Shi Shouxin with a smile that was not quite a smile, a hidden meaning in her eyes.

Shi Shouxin felt guilty beneath her gaze and could only bow and take his leave.

Not long before, he had taken the initiative to embrace Sima Shi’s widow and make love to her, striking while the iron was hot and responding fully to her emotions. The words he had spoken had shattered her defenses completely.

Shi Shouxin could feel how deeply Yang Huiyu had returned his kiss, and could sense the joy and excitement in her heart. She was extraordinarily beautiful—not some two-hundred-pound rich widow trying to ensnare a young man.

Shi Shouxin felt that even if he had asked to spend the night in Yang Huiyu’s private chambers, the widow would certainly not have refused.

But another woman still lived in his heart, preventing him from making such a request. At parting, the beautiful woman’s eyes had been filled with boundless delight and anticipation.

He had seen that expression before, on Li Wan’s face.

If it had merely been an act, there would have been no problem. What frightened him was the possibility that she had developed genuine feelings. A beauty’s favor was a heavy debt. With what could he ever repay it?

At that moment, Shi Shouxin’s heart was filled with helplessness and guilt. His wife, Li Wan, had done nothing wrong. She loved him with all her heart and had given him everything she could.

He felt deeply ashamed before her. Though this was a chaotic and false age, his wife’s sincerity toward him was as clear as the sun and moon.

Then again, Sima Shi’s second wife truly had an exceptional figure. Her slender waist seemed almost too delicate to encircle with one hand. Having lived in comfort for years and never borne a child, she had skin as smooth and fine as a young girl’s.

Shi Shouxin’s mind was a tangled mess, desire and reason locked in endless conflict.

He stood before his home. Two red lanterns hung on either side of the gate, casting a warm glow and filling the entrance with the cozy atmosphere of family life. He remained there, turning the matter over in his mind, yet could not think of any proper way to deal with the tangled relationship between himself and Yang Huiyu.

He could not refuse the woman’s “kindness”—at least not with his current status and position. It was absolutely impossible. Thus, when Yang Huiyu had confessed her feelings, Shi Shouxin had immediately changed from passive to active, giving her pride and ardor tremendous satisfaction.

He would not allow her love to turn into hatred.

He could not even imagine how terrifying the consequences would be if Yang Huiyu, humiliated and enraged, sought revenge against him. He needed say no more: if the widow merely mentioned him in passing to Sima Zhao, Shi Shouxin would never withstand the consequences.

Since he could not refuse, he would give her two hundred percent of his devotion. Once the bow was drawn, there was no turning back.

Remembering Yang Huiyu’s promise before they parted, Shi Shouxin sighed. He could only choose to trust her. Yang Huiyu had promised that he and Li Wan would remain safe, and that she, as a widow of the Sima clan, would secretly protect them. At the very least, they would no longer need to fear Sima Yan.

With such a promise, all Shi Shouxin could do was hold this woman in his arms and cherish her. What else could he have done?

Was he supposed to force Yang Huiyu to become his enemy?

“Oh? Why are you standing outside instead of coming in?”

Li Wan, wearing an apron, opened the courtyard gate and saw Shi Shouxin standing outside. She looked at him in puzzlement.

“Uncle Zi’s elder sister recommended me to the Grand General. I have been appointed an Investigating Officer of the Metropolitan Office and will leave for Guanzhong tomorrow on official business.

“I only just returned home, and now we are about to part again. I did not know how to tell you.”

Shi Shouxin sighed. He did not mention what had happened that day; saying it aloud would only create needless trouble.

Li Wan waved her hand cheerfully and laughed. “What is there to make such a fuss about? You are going off to win glory and establish yourself. Come inside—the hot pot is ready.”

She seized Shi Shouxin’s large hand and pulled him into the courtyard, her steps brisk and lively.

Shi Shouxin suddenly stopped and pulled Li Wan tightly into his arms. The two of them embraced in the empty courtyard.

At that moment, Shi Shouxin’s heart hardened.

To protect the wife who loved him dearly, he was willing to sink into depravity and become a despicable man.

He was a man.

“Oh, all right, all right. Come eat. It was not easy to get this beef. If you want to hold me, you can do it all night in the bedroom. I am not going anywhere.”

Li Wan pouted coquettishly and took the opportunity to kiss Shi Shouxin on the cheek.

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Before long, the two of them were seated at a table in the main hall, eating.

Li Wan kept placing slices of blanched beef into Shi Shouxin’s bowl. She could not help chuckling.

“The cleaver Ji Kang forged is surprisingly useful. It slices meat so smoothly. I just do not understand what strange obsession he has with blacksmithing.”

“Wan, if—just hypothetically—something went terribly wrong during this campaign against Shu and you were forced to become a widow, you must find a good man and marry him in the future.”

Shi Shouxin set down his chopsticks and let out a long sigh.

“There you go again. Why say such depressing things?

“This campaign is being carried out with the strength of the entire realm, after years of careful planning. How could anything go wrong? You really underestimate me. Do you take me for some ignorant woman?”

Li Wan’s hand trembled slightly as she placed food into Shi Shouxin’s bowl. The beef nearly fell onto the table.

In her view, they were attacking Hanzhong with their finest troops, able to advance or retreat as circumstances required. So long as they did not go to the front lines, there was almost no danger. The elite troops of Shu-Han were not stationed there either.

They had an overwhelming advantage. They could hardly lose even if they tried.

Li Wan came from an official family and had been exceptionally intelligent since childhood, often discussing government affairs with her father, Li Yin. After marrying, she had also spent much time chatting with Shi Shouxin and had broadened her knowledge considerably. Her perspective was no narrower than that of an ordinary official.

The momentum behind the campaign against Shu was plain for all to see. So long as they did not act recklessly, taking Hanzhong would pose no difficulty. Shi Shouxin would be serving as a military inspector in the rear. How could he possibly be in danger?

“Enough. Eat your food.”

Shi Shouxin said nothing more and simply placed more food into Li Wan’s bowl.

…

After Xu Ying returned to the residence where Yang Huiyu lived, she saw the beautiful woman standing in the courtyard, gazing at the moon and stars.

Even the increasingly cold autumn wind seemed unable to extinguish the flame that had gone out in Yang Huiyu’s heart many years ago, only to burn anew that night.

“Madam Yu, the night air is cold. You should go to the study,” Xu Ying advised softly.

Yang Huiyu sighed deeply and nodded. The two women went into the study.

“Lord Shi is devoted to public duty and generous in spirit, with upright character. He is like the blazing sun at the edge of heaven.

“The more I think about him, the more I like him. I cannot stop thinking about him for even a moment.

“Only now do I understand what love truly is. Sadly, I am no longer a young girl in the flower of her youth.”

Yang Huiyu sat before the table, sighing repeatedly. She herself did not know where this ill-fated romance would ultimately lead.

Her heart was filled with both anticipation and fear, and she hardly dared imagine what the future would bring.

Yet whenever she remembered how she had gone limp in Shi Shouxin’s arms that day, the two of them kissing as though unwilling to part, her face flushed with shame.

In her heart, she sighed: This is how a woman is meant to be.

At once, she no longer regretted anything.

Xu Ying nodded in agreement. “Yes. Lord Shi truly is a good man.”

“So you want to become his concubine?”

Yang Huiyu stared at Xu Ying with a smile that was not quite a smile.

“It would not matter even if I did,” Xu Ying lamented.

“Do not worry. So long as you serve me faithfully…” Yang Huiyu hummed twice in deep satisfaction.

Having tasted the sweetness of desire, she wanted more. No one could stop her now.

…

Early the next morning, the Grand General’s residence sent a special carriage to collect Shi Shouxin. He would accompany a contingent of Imperial Guards to Guanzhong. Sima Zhao had been considerate enough—or perhaps simply wary of complications—to send men specifically to escort him.

Shi Shouxin had originally hoped to spend the morning in bed with his wife, trying to conceive a child, but he had no choice except to swallow his frustration, get up, and accept the official seal delivered by Sima Zhao’s men.

Another man, roughly his own age, was riding in the carriage with him.

“May I ask your distinguished name, sir? I am Shi Shouxin, traveling to Guanzhong on official business.”

Shi Shouxin introduced himself courteously.

The man merely replied coldly, “I am Yang Xiu. We are traveling together.”

Those eight words killed the conversation. He was unwilling to say even one more.

Sensing that the man seemed to dislike him, Shi Shouxin had no desire to press his warm face against a cold rear end, so he fell silent.

People often spoke of “compatibility.” Shi Shouxin and Du Yu had taken to each other at first sight and could discuss anything, while he and Yang Xiu found themselves unable to exchange even half a sentence of common interest.

This was a classic case of incompatible temperaments.

The carriage from the Grand General’s residence delivered the two men to the Imperial Guard camp west of the city.

The man who came out to greet them was a middle-aged civil official in a black robe, perhaps forty years old, with a refined and scholarly appearance.

“Inspector Wei, my respects. Yang Xiu has come to report for duty.”

Yang Xiu knew the man and hurried forward to salute.

He was ignored outright.

The inspector stepped forward, seized Shi Shouxin’s hand, and said, “I have long heard my younger brother speak of how deeply Shi Gandang understands righteousness. I have been burning with impatience awaiting your arrival. Hahahaha! This way, this way!”

The contrast between his enthusiastic welcome for one man and his deliberate disregard for the other immediately put Shi Shouxin on guard.

From the corner of his eye, he saw anger spread across Yang Xiu’s face before the man turned and strode away with a flick of his sleeve.

Shi Shouxin looked again at the Inspector Wei before him, whose manner was as refreshing as a spring breeze, and restrained himself from swearing aloud.

“I am Wei Guan, courtesy name Boyu. You may call me Boyu. This is not the place for conversation. Come into the command tent, and we shall speak there.”

Inspector Wei invited him warmly.

The two men entered the camp. Only then did Shi Shouxin notice that there were very few tents. Judging by appearances, the camp held perhaps a thousand soldiers.

Remembering the unpleasant scene just now, he asked in some confusion, “Inspector Wei, why were you so openly discourteous to Yang Xiu?”

“Yang Xiu is commanding troops independently this time and is not subordinate to me.

“I am the military inspector, whose very task is to find fault with him. What would I have to say to him?

“But Shi Gandang is different. You are my subordinate, and the two of us are both military inspectors. Naturally, we must cooperate wholeheartedly.”

Wei Guan explained with a smile. His words sounded quite reasonable.

Naturally, Shi Shouxin would not accept his one-sided explanation.

He knew nothing of Yang Xiu’s character, but he knew Wei Guan well enough.

Wei Guan was an old fox so cunning that even Zhong Hui had been manipulated by him and made to run in circles. Some men were better left unmentioned.