Chapter 98: The Young Man's Affection Ends in Emptiness

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At the Shen Residence, in the Creek Garden, on the Cloud Terrace.

Shen Yanxi had never seen Lu Jin so serious and intense; his eyes seemed to pierce right through her.

In her nearly twenty years of life, she had never encountered such an unfathomable question: Aren’t you just him, and he just you? But Shen Yanxi understood that in Lu Jin’s heart, that was not the case. He was the Lu Jin before amnesia, and she was the Lu Jin after amnesia.

She did not know why her husband was so adamant about making such a clear distinction, but from his eyes, she could see that if she gave the wrong answer, the consequences would be catastrophic.

“Do you love him or do you love me?” Lu Jin asked again. His gaze was like two sharp swords, leaving Shen Yanxi breathless.

Though the question was strange, Shen Yanxi was not troubled. She exhaled slowly and gently laid her delicate hand on Lu Jin’s: “My husband, I love the man you are now, the one right before my eyes. I only regret because I think of the grievances you’ve suffered before, and it pains my heart.”

At last, Lu Jin’s expression softened, and the sharpness in his eyes faded. He slowly raised one hand and tenderly stroked his wife’s hair.

“To me, the Lu Jin I know is the one who woke up one morning to find himself inexplicably a son-in-law at the Shen Residence. Whether it was grievance or joy, that’s all the life I remember. I am myself; he is not me, and I am not him. I do not understand him, and he does not know me.”

“My first meeting with you, my lady, was on that rainy afternoon. You sat in the Crescent Moon Residence, aloof yet elegant. I had never seen such a perfect woman, and I was stunned. Then you smiled, and for a moment it felt as if it had never rained, because the whole room was filled with light. We parted unhappily at first, but fortunately, you did not abandon me, and I did not give up on you. We went from strangers to familiarity, then pledged our lives to each other. That is the whole story of you in my memory.”

As Lu Jin spoke, tears began to fall down Shen Yanxi’s cheeks—tears not only for her husband’s deep affection but also for the vivid memories that flashed through her mind.

“That little booklet was neither written nor drawn by me; it has nothing to do with me from beginning to end, nor with you. It is simply someone else’s story.”

Shen Yanxi was terrified. She wrapped her small hands around Lu Jin’s neck, crying: “Fine, let’s not keep it. The husband I remember is just the man who made me cry on that rainy day, the very man I met for the first time...”

Many things were beyond even Shen Yanxi’s understanding, but she grasped her husband’s meaning: she only wanted the man before her.

...

Lu Jin held his wife close as the little booklet turned to ashes in the brazier, the wisps of smoke rising high into the sky before dissolving into nothingness.

Si Qin, who had arranged it all, was baffled. Why were the young mistress and young master playing with fire so fervently in the middle of summer?

In the end, he was a selfish man who could not bear to let his wife’s memories begin with an unrequited love for another man, nor did he want her to be moved by a crudely made booklet.

She already knew that once a man had admired her—that was enough.

-----------------

Lu Jin and Wu You were sitting on the floating terrace in the morning light, drinking tea. The A Liang they had brought yesterday had already been handed over to Yuan Fang. Now, Su Nian and Yuan Fang each took two children; these would be the core group for the future.

“Young master…” Su Nian came forward shyly.

Lu Jin looked puzzled; what was going on? When had the spirited and valiant Su Nian shown such an expression?

“What is it?”

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“Can we pick the refugees this afternoon instead?” Su Nian asked.

“Why? Do you have something to do this morning?”

“I want to listen to your lecture…”

Only then did Lu Jin realize, smiling: “You’re not really there for the lecture, but for the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, aren’t you? I thought only men liked that, but it seems Su Nian does as well. Oh, right, I almost forgot—you’re a heroine…”

As the story of the Three Kingdoms unfolded with twists and turns, more and more people came to listen—not only from the Creek Garden but from other branches of the family as well.

Su Nian felt somewhat embarrassed; this should have been the duty of a subordinate (and she was not a private servant), but she simply could not let go.

“I overlooked that; I didn’t think of this. I noticed Yuan Fang had a deadpan face today. Fine, then you can go pick the refugees this afternoon.” Lu Jin was almost the most approachable lord in the Shen household. Of course, Yuan Fang might have a different perspective.

“Thank you, young master…” Having gotten what she wanted, Su Nian went back to guide the children in their martial arts.

“Big brother’s lectures have become a scenery in the Creek Garden. I almost feel like this place has become an academy,” Wu You laughed.

“Don’t slack off. Teaching them to read and write is all on you. Whether they succeed or fail depends on the foundation you lay.”

“You overestimate me, big brother. But the Three Character Classic you gave me does have order and method; it’s helped me a lot.” Wu You had always been curious. Big brother seemed to know everything; almost all questions could be answered here. Who knew how much knowledge was stored in his mind?

Lu Jin glanced at the beautiful Wu You and thought, Damn! When did she get so close again?

“You Youran, move aside a bit. Your sister-in-law is here.” Out of the corner of his eye, Lu Jin saw his wife come again to observe the morning court.

Seeing Wu You flustered, Lu Jin felt awkward himself. What to do? If it were just a psychological issue, regardless of Lu Jin’s skill, there would be ways to try. But Wu You’s case was really difficult.

Now Lu Jin felt nervous himself. He tried not to be too close or talk too much with Wu You in front of his wife—to avoid mistakes. But what was he really nervous about? It was ridiculous!

After the tender moments with Lu Jin the day before, Shen Yanxi came early today, full of love for her husband. But from afar, she saw Wu Gongzi once again so close to her husband, and her smile immediately faded.

“Your appearance today brightens my eyes once again, even the morning sun pales in comparison,” Lu Jin said with a full smile as he rose to greet Shen Yanxi.

Shen Yanxi shot Lu Jin a sharp glance then walked straight to the table and chairs ahead.

She dared not say she knew everything about Lu Jin, but she knew enough: if he was smiling and speaking sweet words, it was usually insincere and just to smooth things over. When he was truly moved, he often blushed and looked dazed, even when teased by her. So Shen Yanxi was not about to give Lu Jin any credit now.

Lu Jin awkwardly followed. His wife was getting sharper and no longer fell for his usual tricks.

“Sister-in-law!” Wu You hurriedly stood to greet her.

“You Youran will be teaching the children soon. Shouldn’t you prepare more?” Shen Yanxi said as she sat down.

“Oh, sister-in-law is right. I’ll prepare immediately. You and big brother take your time chatting.” Wu You was no fool; he knew well Shen Yanxi’s hostility toward him, but he could understand it.

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“Well… madam…” Seeing Wu You scamper away like a rabbit, Lu Jin could only face Shen Yanxi alone.

“Stop beating around the bush. Can’t you stay away from him a little?” Shen Yanxi said angrily. It wasn’t that she was petty; even if Wu You were a man, she still wouldn’t feel at ease.

“Madam, I’ll try to be careful. But he’s my brother; I can’t just ignore him…”

“Do you think I’m too petty? That I can’t bear you associating with others…”

“Not at all. My lady is kind and reasonable. I understand your concerns.” Lu Jin truly understood. If it were him, he wouldn’t tolerate it either.

“If you were close to a woman, I wouldn’t be worried because I trust you and myself. But Youran… really puts me in a difficult spot, leaving me at a loss.” Shen Yanxi was troubled. Especially since many men in Daliang indulged in such things, she feared that her good husband might be influenced by Wu You.

“Madam, I have many things to handle and many people around me. I’m anxious, afraid that one day I’ll wake up to find everything changed,” Lu Jin said, holding Shen Yanxi’s hand. She was the companion of his lifetime; there was no reason to hide anything from her.

“But there’s the Shen family…”

“I know about the Shen family, and I trust them. That’s why I asked my father for money and people, but it’s still not enough. I must ensure that no matter which morning I wake up, I can see you.” Lu Jin spoke with deep emotion.

Shen Yanxi found it hard to imagine what great matter weighed on her husband’s heart. Even for self-preservation, the Shen family alone was insufficient?

“Could it be that you want to…” Shen Yanxi’s eyes widened in shock. Lu Jin once read a book about rebellion and had even been second-in-command among river bandits. Could he really be planning a rebellion?

“Want what?” Lu Jin asked curiously.

“You want to rebel and become emperor?” Shen Yanxi asked.

Lu Jin was stunned for a moment, then laughed: “Why would you think that? How could I possibly have such an idea? Not to mention rebellion and becoming emperor, I wouldn’t even want to be an emperor if given the chance. I just sense the world is going to chaos, so I can’t help but be anxious. But we’ll see—maybe it’s just because I have a peerless beauty for a wife, and I’m overly nervous.”

Shen Yanxi felt embarrassed on his behalf. The first light of dawn colored her beautiful face, her captivating eyes sparkling like stars.

Lu Jin didn’t know why he was so anxious. According to the current understanding of the situation, it wasn’t serious enough for Daliang to collapse overnight, but he was deeply fearful—afraid that everything before his eyes might become nothing one morning upon waking.

“Is it really that bad? Even if there are some river bandits or the governor has died, or some rioters, it shouldn’t be as dire as you fear,” Shen Yanxi said. After all, in her eyes, Daliang had long enjoyed peace; how could it collapse in a day?

“If it were just one or two incidents, I wouldn’t worry. But I fear all these troubles converging at once. Don’t forget, the emperor is often ill.”

No one knew that in the elegant Creek Garden, this couple was not discussing love but the fate of the realm.