Chapter 28: Rebels Playing House

The outcome of the meeting did not meet Li Kuan’s expectations. It was clear that the impromptu lie he had spun had truly unsettled them. However, when the fat steward saw his Shadow Assassin off, his attitude was exceptionally respectful. He also voluntarily stated that he would report the matter to his superiors and that they would discuss it further once word came back from the main household.

As for the auction in three days, the fat steward offered his own suggestion: "I advise you to cancel this auction, sir. Regardless of whether this matter succeeds or not, our Wang family will purchase your goods, and we will offer you a very generous price."

Li Kuan was naturally pleased with this. As for why he had impulsively decided to play this game of "pretend rebel," it was inspired by his earlier attempt to multitask while fishing with his younger brother, Li Tai. The pond was only so large, and the fish were limited. If he didn't find a way to land a few big ones, how would he fill the hungry bellies of the disaster victims? Money alone was not enough, because there was no guarantee anyone would be willing to sell to him.

Li Kuan knew that Zhangsun Wuji had already set off for Shandong to procure grain in the name of the imperial court. Yet, by doing so, he was undoubtedly sending a message to the great noble clans: the locust plague would be so massive that even the imperial court would be powerless to handle it. Consequently, Li Kuan was almost certain that these great families would put on a show of charity, and once they had seen Zhangsun Wuji off, they would close their doors and toast to their own success. Why? Because years of disaster were the days when these gluttonous noble families could openly feast upon the flesh and blood of the common people.

The rise, development, and expansion of the great clans often followed the principle of big fish eating small fish, and small fish eating shrimp. Take this locust plague, for example: the commoners, whose fields had yielded no harvest, would have to sell their land and their children just to survive. Into whose hands would that land eventually fall? And whose slaves would those children become?

Li Kuan was playing a grand game of chess. Although it had been an unintentional masterstroke, once the piece was played, there was no room for regret. Originally, he had planned to sell his glassware and pivot to the salt and iron trade, hoping to use the profits to buy grain in the south. But now, time was running out. His target, naturally, were the powerful clans of the Guanzhong region.

Li Kuan intended to cast himself as an ambitious young hero. Such a person was the favorite investment object for the noble clans. They didn't fear that your appetite was too large; they only feared you couldn't stomach the prize. So, you want to use the locust plague as a pretext for rebellion? Wonderful! If you succeed, the returns will be ten-thousand-fold. If you fail, the territories you ravaged will fall to us to be rebuilt and controlled. And, in the end, if one of our carefully cultivated descendants needs to build a reputation, your head will serve as his stepping stone. A fine bargain, indeed!

Regardless of what Li Kuan thought, everyone else was thinking the exact same thing. We all have a bright future ahead of us!

***

On the way back to Ganlu Hall, carrying his fishing rod while his younger brother prattled on with complaints, Li Kuan looked at the setting sun and felt a sense of ease. As long as the Five Surnames and Seven Clans—the top noble families of the Tang Dynasty—were willing to sell or lend him a large amount of grain, there was a chance they could safely survive this locust plague.

However... he couldn't simply take it for granted that this would succeed. Perhaps he should start the refined salt business sooner? But where was he supposed to get a salt mine? What a headache.

***

Ever since he sent his Shadow Assassin to sever a finger from the Wang family’s steward, Li Kuan’s life had been as still as stagnant water. Every day involved sleeping in class, eating after school, and taking his younger brother to fish in the Imperial Garden after his afternoon nap. By the way, because Li Tai disapproved of his second brother’s subpar net-fishing skills, he had brought along their third brother, whom he hadn't previously gotten along with. Li Ke, for his part, was surprisingly flattered.

"Fourth brother, let’s be clear: I’ve never tried this before. If I mess up, don't blame me," Li Ke said under the old willow tree in the Imperial Garden, holding the landing net while Li Tai struggled, his face flushed, to reel in his line.

"My dear third brother, just go for it! I won't blame you even if the fish gets away!" Li Tai’s breathing was ragged. He had already wrestled with this red-and-white koi several times; if it weren't for that lazy, grass-chewing idiot of a brother watching from the sidelines, he would have caught it long ago.

"Ke, just net it if Tai tells you to..." Spitting out the grass stem from his mouth, Li Kuan was about to look for an opportunity to cause some mischief for his brother when the voice of their younger sister, Changle, suddenly rang out from behind them.

"Wuuu... Second brother, third brother, fourth brother! It’s a disaster!" The little girl was panting, her eyes filled with tears.

Li Kuan instinctively assumed she had caused trouble again. Thinking that he had been well-behaved these past few days, he wondered if he could let little Tai take the blame this time. "Changle, slow down, watch your step!" Li Kuan tossed aside the fishing rod that had been idle for hours and stepped forward to catch his running sister.

"Second brother!" Changle dove into Li Kuan’s arms, her voice choked with sobs. "Big brother is going to be punished by Father again!"

"Oh? Is that all..." Li Kuan glanced at his two brothers, who seemed to sigh in relief, and watched as Li Tai turned back to struggle with the giant fish. Li Kuan thought to himself: What a pity.

"Second brother, it’s not like that." Changle, her face flushed and sweaty, slapped Li Kuan’s arm in frustration. "Big brother’s East Palace was struck by lightning today, and the stone beast under the eaves was shattered. The Spirit Terrace Official from the Bureau of Astronomy says this is a warning from Heaven..."

"A warning to our father to be careful? To watch out for big brother’s ascension?" Li Kuan interjected casually. Then, he put on a look of profound heartbreak: "Indeed, how can there be a Crown Prince for over eight hundred days in this world?"

If not for the fact that his unit of measurement was "days," this would have sounded as if Li Chengqian, who had only been Crown Prince for two years, was truly aggrieved.

"Second brother! How can you be in the mood for jokes right now? Big brother has been grounded and ordered to reflect on his mistakes!" Changle pounded on Li Kuan’s chest with her small fists in anger.

"Alright, alright..." He reached out to restrain his sister, who was more rambunctious than a piglet. "It’s just a grounding, what’s the big deal? As for you," Li Kuan said, reaching out to tuck away the sweaty strands of hair sticking to her forehead, "hurry back to Ganlu Hall, dry off, and change your clothes. I’m afraid you’ll catch a cold."

"Second brother! You have to go! Go and plead for big brother!" Changle clung to his arm, begging bitterly.

"That's right, second brother, I'll go with you." Li Ke watched as Li Tai tumbled to the ground, realizing the fish had unhooked itself. To avoid embarrassing his brother, Li Ke decided to concern himself with their big brother’s safety.

"Go to hell," Li Kuan said, glaring at Li Ke. Then, his gaze drifted to Li Tai, who was sitting on the ground in tears. "Tai, don't be discouraged, we'll try again tomorrow!"

"Second brother!" Changle, infuriated by his indifference, abandoned conventional methods. The little girl unleashed a "headbutt," slamming it hard into her brother's chest. "You have no conscience! Big brother has been forbidden from eating after noon for seven days while he reflects on his faults!"

"By his grandfather’s big lychees!" Li Kuan, who had been feeling a bit jealous, exploded instantly. "Which son of a bitch gave that muddle-headed ruler such advice? Are they trying to starve my dear big brother to death?!"

It must be said that Li Kuan’s focus was always so unique and pragmatic.

"Second brother..." Changle, who had been filled with righteous indignation a moment ago, was left in complete shock by his furious outburst. She began to suspect that coming to find her second brother to save their big brother might have been a terrible mistake. She was terrified of the "buy one, get one free" deal.