Chapter 4: No beating is ever unearned.

Li Kuan swept his gaze around with an air of immense self-satisfaction, as if looking down upon a gathering of heroes.

"None of you know how to flatter properly; it falls to me, your Prince, to set an example!"

"My grandfather! From the very moment of his birth, he was unlike any other man!"

As soon as Li Kuan began, everyone present involuntarily straightened their posture.

"It is said that when my grandfather was born, the entire room was filled with fragrance! The horizon was stained with colorful clouds! A phoenix even descended upon the northeast corner of the estate! What is this? This is an auspicious omen!"

Li Yuan, watching his grandson shamelessly script his own legend, stroked his beard with a chuckle. He watched Li Kuan boast away, while the veteran ministers below exchanged glances, though none dared to interrupt. After all, the man of the hour himself was listening with a merry smile.

"When my grandfather was twenty, the Emperor went on an imperial tour. My grandfather acted as his charioteer. Even then, someone remarked: 'The Great Sui is destined to fall, and the man who settles the world under heaven shall be none other than this man!'" Li Kuan slammed his hand on the table, leaving Li Yuan and the ministers stunned for a long moment; none of them had ever heard of such an event.

"My grandfather is a humble man!" Li Kuan’s explanation followed immediately. "He never took such things to heart. Yet, until the thirteenth year of the Daye era, he would often lament to his friends: 'I have spent my life in the saddle, and the flesh on my thighs has wasted away. Now that I no longer ride, the flesh has returned. The days and months fly like a galloping horse; old age approaches, yet no great achievements have been built. This is why I grieve...'"

"Pfft..."

Li Yuan couldn't hold it in any longer and sprayed a mouthful of wine. He looked at his grandson, who was holding forth with such eloquence, and his expression grew complex. *Good heavens, you’ve truly exhausted all your learning just to butter up your grandfather...*

Below, the ministers exchanged looks, silently conveying a shared thought: The coffin lid of the Emperor Zhaolie is barely holding on...

"It was also in the thirteenth year of the Daye era!" Li Kuan, ignoring what others might think, continued his tall tales. "That year, heroes across the land stirred up the dust of eighteen insurgencies, and the great momentum began to rise. My grandfather accepted the mandate in a time of peril, slew the White Dragon, and raised his army at Jinyang... Within a mere six months, he breached Chang'an. Only after the Sui Emperor was assassinated did he consent to stand on his own, establishing a new dynasty...

"By the banks of the Wei River that year, my grandfather stood tall, sword in hand and horse beneath him!" Li Kuan declared. Regardless of the flushed Li Yuan beside him, he stood up and shouted, "My grandfather once said: 'I am but a commoner from Longyou! What does the world under heaven have to add to me?!'

"What is a true hero? What is a great man?"

Li Kuan’s eyes held a spark of pride as he scanned the ministers, though internally he was thinking about how he had failed to add the "Great Tang shall rise, Li Yuan shall be King" prophecy. *Regret, such regret.*

This grandson, whose "secondary creation" was enough to kill the original, had gone to great lengths today to win his grandfather’s favor, hoping the old man would block Li Er’s impending assault on him.

As Li Kuan’s voice trailed off, the hall fell into a heavy silence. Li Yuan breathed heavily, looking at this grandson whose actions were always so unpredictable, his eyes filled with emotion and appreciation.

He naturally understood that to flatter him, this brat had likely used every bit of the meager knowledge he possessed. But that final line—"I am but a commoner from Longyou, what does the world have to add to me?"—even if he didn't know where the boy had plagiarized it from, it didn't matter! The sentiment was there!

"Alright, Kuan'er, why bother with all this? Come, drink with your grandfather!" Li Yuan, whose background had absolutely nothing to do with being a "commoner," smiled as he picked up his chopsticks to add food to Li Kuan’s plate. He then raised his own cup and drank, carrying the air of a hero in his twilight years.

"Grandfather!" Li Kuan had been waiting for this exact moment. He suddenly sat back down beside Li Yuan, clinging to the old man’s arm and wailing, "You don't know! My father, that muddle-headed ruler..."

"Cough, cough, cough!"

Pei Ji, who was sitting below and had been the first to recover his wits, could no longer maintain his stance as Li Yuan’s loyal follower. Seeing the Second Prince act so recklessly as to call Li Er a "muddle-headed ruler," he hastily interrupted the spell with a series of forced coughs: "Your Highness, the Second Prince, please watch your tongue!"

"Watch your tongue, my foot!" Li Kuan, who had been mourning a moment ago, immediately bared his teeth at Pei Ji. "Which side are you actually on, you old geezer?!"

It must be said, Li Kuan’s reaction opened the eyes of everyone present—especially Li Yuan’s veteran ministers. *We can’t help but feel... that a truly loyal minister has somehow snuck in among us? Hmm... that’s actually quite something...*

Xiao Yu watched Li Kuan, who was still glaring at Pei Ji while clutching Li Yuan’s arm, and couldn't help but rub his forehead and shake his head. *Your Li family... really is... filled with filial sons in every generation...*

"Kuan'er! How can you be so rude to Pei Ji?!" Li Yuan cast a reproachful look at Li Kuan, but he wasn't truly angry; he actually somewhat agreed with Li Kuan’s accusation regarding Pei Ji’s wavering stance. *What is there to fear? This is still my turf, after all.*

"Grandfather!" Li Kuan insisted on arguing, determined to keep pouring salt into the wound for that old turtle, Pei Ji.

"Speak your piece!" Li Yuan glared at him, half-amused. "You brat, going to such lengths to make your grandfather happy today—did you stir up trouble again? Hmm, and I suspect it’s not just some minor squabble."

"Grandfather is wise." Li Kuan grinned, then proceeded to embellish the story of how he had beaten and subsequently intimidated Li Ke.

After listening, Li Yuan sighed helplessly and looked at Li Kuan. "So, you’re worried your eldest brother won't be able to protect you, which is why you’ve come to me for reinforcements?"

"Grandfather, there was no other way." Li Kuan spread his hands in a gesture of full confession. "You know me. If I really intended to bully my third brother, I wouldn't have threatened him afterward, let alone beaten him. I would have just gone out of the palace to chat with Wei Zheng, and that boy would have been nailed to the pillar of historical shame for eternity."

"Pillar of shame, indeed." Li Yuan glared at his grandson, who seemed so sure of himself. He felt powerless to even rebuke him. "They’re just palace servants. While Ke'er was indeed wrong this time, were you in the right? As an elder brother, beating your younger brother, and intimidating him on top of that..."

Seeing that his grandson remained completely defiant, Li Yuan knew that any further lecturing would be in vain. *Let it be.* This brat had been headstrong since he was little. Although he had gone a bit overboard this time, his intentions were good. In Li Yuan's view, members of the royal family ought to have some discipline; a child who doesn't know right from wrong is far worse than one who commits unintentional evil.

With that thought, Li Yuan stopped scolding him and reached out to pat his grandson’s head. "I will have someone notify your father later and tell him not to be too hard on you regarding this matter. But in the future, remember not to be so reckless. Think thrice before you act. Otherwise, the next time you come begging to me, I won't bother helping you."

"Heh heh," Li Kuan acted obediently as his grandfather’s hand patted his head. "Ah, Grandfather, you are a true hero, a real gallant man. How could you stand by and watch your grandson die? By the way, Grandfather..."

Li Kuan suddenly leaned in close to Li Yuan’s ear. "What do you think of that 'I am but a commoner from Longyou, what does the world have to add to me' line? Is it imposing or what? Should I have the court historian record it?"

"You unlearned little rascal!" Li Yuan swatted the boy’s head. "Your grandfather comes from a noble family; our ancestors were among the Eight Pillar Kingdoms! We are not some common folk..."

"Oh..." Li Kuan nodded thoughtfully, as if having learned a lesson.

"But Kuan'er," Li Yuan asked, frowning, "earlier you said I slew the White Dragon to start the uprising..."

*What kind of talk was that?* Even if "Slaying the White Dragon" sounded more invigorating than "Slaying the White Snake."

"Oh, it was a white crocodile," Li Kuan replied casually, not even looking up.

However, what he didn't notice was that because the ministers were sensibly keeping their mouths shut, the conversation between grandfather and grandson had shifted from a quiet chat to a loud, public conspiracy.

Thus, Li Kuan’s offhand remark about the "white crocodile" made even a seasoned veteran like Pei Ji, who had survived many a storm and prided himself on "never laughing no matter how funny it is," turn red in the face. *Second Prince, please, don't be like this. I’m at an age where I can barely hold my bladder; if you keep performing such abstract acts, I really can't hold it in anymore...*

"Come, come! Let’s drink!" Li Yuan, having sensed the oddity among his ministers, felt that while his grandson’s answer was somewhat embarrassing, there was nothing to be done. If he started beating the boy now, he would only lose more face. He had no choice but to find a way to gloss over it.

But Li Kuan, acting like a complete blockhead, felt dissatisfied with the ministers' reactions. He stood up and shouted, "What? What is it?! Emperor Gaozu of Han slew a white snake to start his uprising—does my grandfather, Emperor Gaozu of Tang, slaying a white dragon not sound just as imposing?!"

...

The atmosphere in the hall, which had been warming up under Li Yuan’s lead, suddenly fell into a silence where a pin drop could be heard.

Everyone turned their eyes toward Li Yuan, whose cheeks were trembling incessantly.

*Damn it, Retired Emperor, your grandson is truly filial. You are still alive, yet this young master has already arranged your temple name.*

*That is truly a formidable level of filial piety.*

"You little rascal! Get out of here!"

Under Li Yuan’s roar, Li Kuan was pushed and kicked out of the Hongyi Palace.

"Stupid Grandfather! No loyalty!" Li Kuan, cast outside the palace doors, continued to wave his arms and spout nonsense. But after a while, seeing that no one was paying him any heed, he had no choice but to return to the Ganlu Palace in frustration.

After Li Kuan left, the palace attendants, who had been trembling outside the hall, exchanged glances, reaching a silent, shared conclusion.

That was: every beating the Second Prince received in this palace was, by and large, completely deserved.